For some people, the term "roommate" might suggest a void of friendship or a lack of longevity in relationship. I know I often associate that word with two strangers living in a house, totally and completely separate from each others lives, save for an occasional spat over the dirty dishes.
Because of that, I can understand why some people wonder why I am so concerned with the fact that my "roommate" has terminal breast cancer.
I have been Ruth's roommate 3 different times over the last 10 years, totaling about 6 years of actually living at her house. She's such an easy place to land. She's single, no kids, no drama. She lets me have my space, is always up for a conversation but understands if I just want to be left alone.
Multiple times I've found myself moving back to her house between weird roommates, break-ups, and life-indecision. Heck, I even bought a house and then decided to rent it out and move back.
I guess all-told I've known her (and her sister, and basically their entire family) for about 17 years.
I guess all-told I've known her (and her sister, and basically their entire family) for about 17 years.
Though Ruth is my roommate, She is also my friend. Between her and her sister, Sue, they have always been there for me, and they've proven to be easy company and a sympathetic ear when needed. Plus we have had quite a bit of fun together!
I love Ruth, Sue and the rest of the Lomasneys, and my heart hurts for them and the loss they are suffering. Ruth is losing her fight with cancer, and her family is losing an amazing person. How could I NOT be affected and concerned by something like that?
It has been over a month now since the shit hit the fan and Ruth went into the hospital due to the progression of her cancer.
At first there was an influx of so many people coming and going at our house that I didn't quite know what to do with myself. It was pretty stressful to have random family and friends popping in at all hours and at one point we had 4 people staying at the house (which is only about 700 sq ft). I basically just tried to stay gone as much as possible, partly to stay out of the way, and partly so they would stay out of mine.
Now for the past couple of weeks it has been so quiet at the house that I again don't know what to do with myself. There is no Ruth, no family, no dogs. Just me. It's so empty there that I, again, just try to stay gone as much as possible.
I had a realization the other day that life at 4105 Yosemite is never again going to be like it used to be, and it both scared me and saddened me a little. Ruth and I no longer have our daily joke about getting the mail. She no longer sits in the living room listening to me sing made-up songs about the dogs while I make dinner. She doesn't care about those things any more. She's focused on a much more important battle and I'm left with little holes in my routines where these memories now take shape.
If life is stressful and sad for me in this situation, I can only imagine how difficult all of this has been on her family. I at least get an opportunity to separate myself from it and lead a normal life.
I had lunch with Sue today at Panera and we finally had a chance to catch up and chat a little. I haven't really seen her much in the past couple of weeks.
All in all it was a great lunch. We started blubbering like fools right in the middle of Panera, but we didn't even care. It actually felt good to just cry a little and share some of those emotions and to listen to Sue share some of her worries and frustrations and thoughts.
I know I've mentioned this before, but Sue is doing an amazing job in caring for Ruth and acting as her advocate. Their relationship, and the love and effort that Sue has given Ruth is really something to be admired and has definitely been a great lesson to me in what loving your family is really all about.
This is going to be a tough road ahead and no one knows where it will take us or when it will get us "there".
My continued thoughts and prayers are on Ruth for healing and comfort, and they are on her family to find strength and comfort and peace with this tough journey.
I love Ruth, Sue and the rest of the Lomasneys, and my heart hurts for them and the loss they are suffering. Ruth is losing her fight with cancer, and her family is losing an amazing person. How could I NOT be affected and concerned by something like that?
It has been over a month now since the shit hit the fan and Ruth went into the hospital due to the progression of her cancer.
At first there was an influx of so many people coming and going at our house that I didn't quite know what to do with myself. It was pretty stressful to have random family and friends popping in at all hours and at one point we had 4 people staying at the house (which is only about 700 sq ft). I basically just tried to stay gone as much as possible, partly to stay out of the way, and partly so they would stay out of mine.
Now for the past couple of weeks it has been so quiet at the house that I again don't know what to do with myself. There is no Ruth, no family, no dogs. Just me. It's so empty there that I, again, just try to stay gone as much as possible.
I had a realization the other day that life at 4105 Yosemite is never again going to be like it used to be, and it both scared me and saddened me a little. Ruth and I no longer have our daily joke about getting the mail. She no longer sits in the living room listening to me sing made-up songs about the dogs while I make dinner. She doesn't care about those things any more. She's focused on a much more important battle and I'm left with little holes in my routines where these memories now take shape.
If life is stressful and sad for me in this situation, I can only imagine how difficult all of this has been on her family. I at least get an opportunity to separate myself from it and lead a normal life.
I had lunch with Sue today at Panera and we finally had a chance to catch up and chat a little. I haven't really seen her much in the past couple of weeks.
All in all it was a great lunch. We started blubbering like fools right in the middle of Panera, but we didn't even care. It actually felt good to just cry a little and share some of those emotions and to listen to Sue share some of her worries and frustrations and thoughts.
I know I've mentioned this before, but Sue is doing an amazing job in caring for Ruth and acting as her advocate. Their relationship, and the love and effort that Sue has given Ruth is really something to be admired and has definitely been a great lesson to me in what loving your family is really all about.
This is going to be a tough road ahead and no one knows where it will take us or when it will get us "there".
My continued thoughts and prayers are on Ruth for healing and comfort, and they are on her family to find strength and comfort and peace with this tough journey.
